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Reactive Attachment Disorder: Where Is God?

Reactive Attachment Disorder is a diagnosis that no one hopes for. 

Where is God in such a struggle?

How can one believe in a God who allows innocent children to suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder?

How can one believe in a Savior, Jesus Christ in the midst of their family being ripped apart by Reactive Attachment Disorder?

How can God's plan include so much suffering and abuse in homes where there is a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder?

These are questions so many wonder and think about.

Reactive Attachment Disorder: Where Is God?

Reactive Attachment Disorder: Where Is God?

Warning: This page contains content related to Reactive Attachment Disorder that may be triggering to some.


Important: Children with RAD are victims of abuse and/or neglect. Behaviors associated with Reactive Attachment Disorder are due to how the brain forms while the innocent child is surviving trauma. It is our goal to support healthy and loving families where children with RAD can heal, if possible.

I'm here to say that it's only because of a loving Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ that Reactive Attachment Disorder makes sense to me at all.

Without my understanding of God's plan for me and members of my family, I would be in the darkest depths of depression, unable to continue on.

My faith is how I am able to cope with all that's happened and continues to happen to our family because of Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Reactive Attachment Disorder: How Understanding the Plan of Salvation Can Help Mindset

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and believe in the Plan of Salvation.

The Plan of Salvation answers three questions:

1. Where was I before I was born?

2. Why am I here on earth?

3. Where will I go when I die?

The answers to these questions give me so much strength, comfort and hope.

I believe that before we came to earth, we lived with our Father in Heaven.

There we chose to follow Heavenly Father's plan to come to earth, receive a physical body, and become more like Him.

We cannot become more like our Heavenly Father without receiving physical bodies and experiencing all that comes with having those bodies.

Those that did not choose to follow God's plan were cast out and did not receive physical bodies. (Revelations 12:7-9)

Righteous followers of God are those who come to Earth.

Part of God's plan was that we be free to make our own choices while on Earth. 

We have agency.

Every person that has ever lived experiences trials and tribulations on this Earth.

How we respond to and endure trials and tribulations is what provides opportunities to become more like our Father in Heaven.

How to Discipline a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

The plan for our earthly lives was presented to us in the premortal life, before we came here.

I believe that before we came to earth, we agreed to the circumstances, trials, and tribulations that we would experience. (Jeremiah 1:5)

I know with every fiber of my being, because of very sacred and spiritual experiences that I have had in my life, that I was meant to be the mother of my two daughters with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

I know that both girls were noble and righteous daughters of God before they came to Earth, choosing to follow God's plan for them.

Knowing how good, righteous, and truly remarkable my girls were (and still are), before they came to this Earth brings such peace and strength to me.

I know that each of my girls with Reactive Attachment Disorder were willing and agreed to experience all of the suffering they have on this Earth, as did I.

Part of God's plan in the preexistence was to provide a Savior, who would allow us to live again after death, no matter our circumstances on this Earth. (1 Peter: 18-21)

I believe our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ also suffered for us, so we could be made whole and return to live with our Father in Heaven.

The sacrifice of His life has provided us with the possibility of forgiveness of our sins as we seek after good, so that we may return to live in the Father's presence. (1 John 1:7)

It brings me so much comfort knowing that I can be forgiven, as I am a very imperfect person.

I believe the suffering of Jesus Christ was not just to save us from sin though. 

The sacrifice Jesus Christ made was about so much more.

Jesus Christ provides a way for all to be saved from infirmities. (Matthew 8:17)

One definition of infirmities is physical or mental weakness. 

Infirmities include mental illnesses and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

I believe that Jesus Christ, our Savior has suffered and sacrificed His life so that those with mental illness and Reactive Attachment Disorder may return to live with their Father in Heaven.

RAD Treatment for CHildren

A loving Father in Heaven loves ALL of his children and wanted to provide a way for ALL of them to return to His presence after this life, no matter what trials and tribulations they may face here, and what their capabilities on earth are.

Heavenly Father has provided a way for my girls with Reactive Attachment Disorder to return to live in His presence, with our family forever, through the suffering and ultimate sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ.

This gives me hope and helps me remember that my girls, no matter what they do or say, are children of God, whom He loves deeply.

A loving Father in Heaven has not forgotten the caregivers and family members of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder either.

The Cost of Raising a Child with Severe Mental Health Struggles

No one knows our hearts and what we go through like our Savior, Jesus Christ does. (Isaiah 53:3-5)

To know and understand that I am not alone in the depths of my pain, grief, and sorrow over what Reactive Attachment Disorder has done to my family brings me peace and comfort.

So few understand what the life of a caregiver of Reactive Attachment Disorder is like, yet I am never alone.

To Be a Mother of a Young Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

My Savior is with me.

The most perfect person who has ever walked the Earth was despised, rejected, abused, and killed.

I am thankful for direction and counsel from scripture to help me endure all that is asked of me. (Matthew 5: 10-12)

Trials and tribulations are part of our experience on Earth. 

They are to be expected.

No one is exempt from them.

Reactive Attachment Disorder is one of many trials that individuals and families experience.

When I look at other people's trials and tribulations, I can honestly say I don't want them.

I believe that my trials and tribulations are unique to me and my journey to become more like my Father in Heaven.

Reactive Attachment Disorder has taught me more about learning how to love my enemies than any experience in my life. (Matthew 5: 43-44)

Reactive Attachment Disorder has taught me more about pride and judgement than I could have ever wanted to learn or imagined possible. (Isaiah 11:3-4, Luke 6:35-37)

Reactive Attachment Disorder has truly been my refiner's fire. (Malachi 3:2-3)

Reactive Attachment Disorder has helped me understand charity, the pure love of Christ, in a way that no other experience could. (2 Peter 1:5-7)

When it comes to worrying about my girls with Reactive Attachment Disorder, keeping an eternal perspective makes all the difference.

This life is extremely difficult for a person with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

It's NOT going to go well in the majority of cases.

But in the next life, all will be okay.

As we strive for righteousness and obey God's laws we will be blessed and made perfect. (Hebrews 5:9)

How to Stay Calm During a Reactive Attachment Disorder Fit

No one but God can judge what a person with Reactive Attachment Disorder will be held accountable for in the next life. (Isaiah 11:3-4, Acts 17:31)

It is not our place to judge their choices, only to love unconditionally and forgive. (Matthew 7:1-2)

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that after death we will go to the spirit world or spirit prison while we await final judgement.

It is there that we are relieved from the challenges of the physical body and have the opportunity to become even more like our Father in Heaven.

Without a body, this process may take longer, but everyone will have the opportunity to accept and become a follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ, including those in spirit prison. (Peter 3:18-20)

For those who suffered infirmities in this life related to the physical body (which includes the brain), this process may come easier than it did in this life.

After time spent in the spirit world or spirit prison, judgement from a loving Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ, and resurrection of our physical and spiritual bodies, we will live out the eternities with our forever families. (1 Corinthians 15:40-58).

The plan of Salvation gives me so much hope, that no matter what happens in this life, my girls, my family, and I will be okay.

We will be made whole.

My girls will be healed and be able to accept and embrace the love of our family.

We will have eternity to spend together.

Our time on earth is just a brief moment, even though it can feel like forever.

Reactive Attachment Disorder: Ways to Find God Every Day

My beliefs as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints help me keep an eternal perspective on life, but those beliefs alone are not enough to sustain me on their own.

Active faith each and every day makes all the difference.

How do I show faith?

1. I pray each and every day more times than I can count.

Communication with my Heavenly Father is raw, honest, and heartfelt, expressing every emotion.

Silent prayers in the midst of chaos and unsafe behaviors are constant. 

My prayer is always for help to be more Christlike and to show charity in my thoughts, words, and actions towards my children with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

We also strive to pray as a family on a daily basis multiple times.

Again, family members have a choice whether or not they want to participate.

2. I read my scriptures and words of modern day prophets and apostles daily.

In our home we strive for personal scripture study, as well as family scripture study on a daily basis. 

Scripture Study Ideas for Families

Children have the choice to participate, so as not to make family time more contentious.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I believe that just like days of old, there are modern day prophets and apostles that walk the earth and teach us.

We read and listen to the counsel and direction of modern day prophets and apostles during General Conferences twice a year and other meetings.

3. Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost whenever they may come.

So many of my decisions as a parent are based on promptings I receive, even if they make no sense to me.

In order to receive promptings, I must create an environment where the Holy Ghost can be present.

I also must put myself in a position to hear promptings.

Minimizing worldly influences and staying emotionally regulated helps me so much with this.

4. I am honest in all I do and don't hesitate to take accountability and ask for help.

There are no secrets in our home. 

I strive for honesty in all that I say and do and encourage my kids to do so as well.

If I make a mistake as a caregiver, I am the first to admit it and do whatever I need to in order to make things right.

What NOT to Do with a RAD Child

When I am unable to function in the ways I need to, I ask for help.

As I am humble and meek, the Lord blesses my family. (Matthew 5: 2-5)

5. I create a prepared environment that invites God into our home.

There are so many ways to invite the spirit into the home, even with Reactive Attachment Disorder present. 

I try to have pictures of my Savior, Jesus Christ in every room of my home. 

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we also have pictures of temples in our home.

This may be in the form of artwork, scriptures with pictures, screensavers, or a magnet on the refrigerator.

Music is constantly playing in our home setting the mood and tone.

Media choices are limited to PG-13 or lower. 

For our kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder there are times when only PG movies or lower are permitted.

Again, minimalism is our best friend.

Time spent outside in nature, admiring and enjoying God's creations is also so beneficial.

I would love to encourage families of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder to attend church meetings and other church activities, but many times it is impossible, so it really does come down to how you choose to invite God into your life on a daily basis.

When it comes to answering the questions about God, when raising a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder, I assure you, if you invite Him into your life and heart, He will come.

Once you allow him to be part of your life you will witness so many miracles.

You will have the strength you need to be strong in the most difficult circumstances.

You will have courage to do what's right.

God will not take away the trials and tribulations related to Reactive Attachment Disorder, but He won't leave you alone as you strive to endure them.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like the resources below.

7 Reasons the Holiday Season is Difficult for Children with RAD How to Single Parent a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder 8 Differences Between RAD Fits and Autism Meltdowns Reactive Attachment Disorder: How to Address Behaviors 6 Ways to Help a Family Going through a Mental Health Emergency Must Have Safety Resources When Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment Disorder

Reactive Attachment Disorder: Where Is God?

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